personal

It seems like They want me to thing about a marriage. My sister (half-sister actually) is engaged, the stone in the ring is white with a tint of blue, at law course we're talking about the french family law and again nous parlons de mariage, I'm dating one boy for 4,5 years, my best friend got married almost 2 years ago when she was just 18 and they're happy and good, the others -some are married, some are going to, others receives a proposal. But they had and have something. I don't know how do I count it. I can't decide. Sometimes I think that this is just a formality, sometimes I do understand that it is important and meaningful. And I want it to be so.
I am really afraid of one thing. Of a proposal not_in_time. As an excuse. That would be...I'll kill for doing that. But I'm afraid that I won't kill him, but myself. And by doing that I'll kill him. As I always do.
But there's nothing for it not to be "not_in_time" now. Hum, yes, and I'm not old enough to be worried about that))